can't help but.

i realise i cant be left alone with nothing to do, i'll jus start thinking about some stuff.
went to town yesterday with Zijuan and Stella, we had lunch with their husbands. realise this is the 2nd time they go out with me like this after i faced a similar heartbreak about 2 years ago. and i was blindly following behind 2 happily married couples for lunch, feels kind of miserable don't u think? not saying i don like it, my friends r trying to spend time with me..
i feel that history is repeating itself so funny..

so we girls went singing, i came to realise i've known so many chinese songs. i've never even once, went to look and read the lyrics. i jus plainly know how the melody goes and how the song is sung.
and there were these few songs, wrote exactly what happen to me during the breakup, reasons and how am i going to manage the heartbreak.
very weird. i wonder how those song composers wrote these lyrics, i've been to FIR concert last july, the member that plays keyboard actually compose many famous songs, he said he wrote those songs from imagination, but mostly from his own life experience.

this song isnt wrote by him, but its clearly writing my experience out.

梁永琪 原来爱情这么伤

我睁开眼睛 却感觉不到天亮
东西吃一半 莫名其妙哭一场
我忍住不想 时间变得更漫长
也与你有关 否则又开始胡思乱想
我日月无光 忙得不知所以然
找朋友交谈 其实全帮不上忙
以为会习惯 有你在才是习惯
你曾住在我心上 现在空了一个地方
原来爱情这么伤 比想象中还难
泪水总是不听话 幸福躲起来不声不响
太多道理太牵强 道理全是一样
说的时候很简单 爱上后却正巧打乱
只想变的坚强 强到能够去忘
无所谓悲伤 只要学会抵抗
原来爱情是这样 这样峰回路转
泪水明明流不干 瞎了眼还要再爱一趟
有一天终于打完 思念的一场战

im totally experiencing those words in bold.
i look back at the short memories, i jus can't stop thinking about it, things i did, letters i wrote, words i've said. so what if im trying to find details of the cause of what had happened?
i know its not going to change anything, but we girls jus CANNOT HELP IT.
my best friends wrote me a card and cheer me up, they mention it pain them a little to see what im gg thru again, and they wrote “记忆有限,所以他会淘汰坏的” (another song lyrics again). and they hope they this is the last time they see me cry.


no more..


♥ Trina said...

babe, this is my first time seeing you like this. when you and toshi broke up things wasnt as bad as ys. i really hope to see you stand up soon. and i really wish i can be there for you, like how you were when me and ms broke up. but as you know im preg there's only a min i can do. if there is anything i can help you PLEASE bbm me ok ? as for the time being, keep yourself occupied from thinkin too much. <3

Junying said...

trina: thanks babe (: i will stand up soon (: